Monday, September 3, 2007

The Phillies Bizarro World

The Phillies 4-game sweep of the Mets has virtually been erased with 3 straight losses to the Marlins and Braves. All of last week's hype is once again old news to the Philadelphia fairweather fan.

On the present Phillies front there is nothing new to report, which brings me to the Phillies past.
Let's take a step back in-time to 1993, (Darren Daulton can actually do this through astral travel, but we'll get to the bottom of this shortly).

The 1993 Phillies were a motley crew to say the least. That team definitely had its share of characters. Dave Hollins with his dual personalities. John Kruk and his legendary sense of humor. Danny Jackson, Mitch Williams, Curt Schilling, Pete Incaviglia, Jim Eisenreich and of course Lenny Dykstra and his Holding down the fort of all these characters was Darren Daulton. To many of us, Dutch was the sane leader of all of these lunatics.

Now the tides have changed. Dutch is now the lunatic. And in another ironic twist, Lenny Dykstra, who was arguably the King of the Idiots is now giving stock advice next to Jim Kramer on TheStreet.com. And I do say this with all due respect to The Dudes' superb effort on the field. He was, is, and always will be my favorite Phillie.

Dykstra giving stock advice and Darren Daulton being off his rocker seems like a paradox.

Dykstra believes the Microsoft (MSFT) is a good bye.
Daulton believes he can talk to lizards.

To be fair, I'll allow Daulton to explain himself.

"I started experiencing these different realms, these different planes of
existence ... I know exactly what I'm capable of doing. ... People talk about
speaking with lizards and stuff. You can communicate with anyone, with nature,
that's all that happened there. To me, that's not a big deal now. I like to
astal travel, teleport, travel through time ... December 24, 2012, by the way,
that's the number. As seven billion people, the world will rise to another level
of consciousness. I don't have all the answers."

Daulton has gotten away with a lot. He was a marginal player for nearly 10 years, and somehow managed to stick around long enough, to earn himself a whopper of a contract. He did have several years where he was the best catcher in the national league, but as players go, he is grossly overrated.

And now that Dykstra is giving stock advice to high-income investors, perhaps his cognitive capacity was grossly under-rated.

If nothing else, The Dude and Dutch are full of surprises.

If they're really smart, Daulton and Dykstra team up and astral travel back in time to purchase pre-IPO stocks and make millions.

For more about Daulton's view on other dimension, go to DarrenDaulton.com and buy his book "If they Only Knew".

For more on Dykstra's investment advice, go to TheStreet.com.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Daulton, over rated catcher lets see three times All Star NL Champion 1993 and World Champion 1997. Plus if you go back to his high school years two times STATE CHAMPION WRESTINGLING, State Champion Football. Not to mention married to a playboy model. Boy do I WISH I was over rated.

klkatz said...

c'mon... are you really trying to go back to high school to prove that Dutch was not overrated.

I will give you 1992, 1993 and 1994. But that's it.

World Champion?? yes, but as someone who only played 52 games for the marlins that year.

Dutch's career stats are: .245 and 137 homeruns.

Now i'm a philly fan through and through, and i know this city respects the hell out of daulton for his clubhouse presence, and for his 3 great years... but let's be real.

You'd think he was Johnny Bench the way some of the fans adore him.

Anonymous said...

Years ago (20+), there was a player known for being kind of nutty. Anyone remember who this was?

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